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Anonim
-When You see an elephant in Your car, what's the time??
-It's the time to get a new car.....
;) -
Anonim
Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Shit it's hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Holy Shit... A talking muffin!"
Wife: Give me some money. I want to buy a bra.
Husband: Why? You have nothing to put in it!
Wife: You wear shorts!
A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says that there's nothin' special... we just flat out tell' em they're gonna die... -
Star
BUhahahahahah
Now listen to this :
There is a meeting - Edyp and Syzyf.
Edyp says : " You are a rolling stone !"
And Syzyf : " And you are a motherfucker "
:O -
Qń
I'm sure that you know that one but... :)
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!" -
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Anonim
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Anonim
Star, that was goooooooooood; )))
4 Chinese, Chu, Bu, Fu and their sister Su decided to emigrate in the USA. In order to get a Visa, they had to adapt their names to American standards.
Chu became Chuck, Bu became Buck.
Fu and his sister Su decided to stay in China.
[buahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hah!!!!; P] -
Star
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Anonim
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Anonim
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Anonim
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˙uǝɹɐʞ
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˙uǝɹɐʞ
The father pokes his sleeping son and says "Wake up Jim! It's time for you to go to school."
The son answers "I don't want to go to school."
The father asks "Why?"
"There are three reasons for that" replies Jim "The first: I hate school, the second: it is boring there and the third: the children tease me."
The father argues "I also give you three reasons for going immediately to school. The first: You are grownup. The second: You are 45 years old. The third: You are school principal." -
˙uǝɹɐʞ
A man visits God and says "God, do you mind if I ask you a
few questions?" God says "No, ask me anything at all."
So the man says "God, you've been around for a very long time,
so, for you, how long is a thousand years?"
God replies "For me, a thousand years is only five minutes."
The man then says "That's interesting God. And, for you,
how much is a million dollars?"
God replies "For me, a million dollars is only five cents."
The man says "Really? Well then God, could you lend me
five cents please?"
God looks at the man, smiles, and says "Of course my son.
Just wait five minutes!" -
˙uǝɹɐʞ
A woman is walking along a beach when she finds an old oil lamp.
She picks it up and rubs it, and out comes a genie.
The genie says to the woman, "Thank you for freeing me from the oil lamp.
I will grant you three wishes, but whatever you wish for, your horrible ex-husband will get twice as much. What is your first wish?"
The woman says, "I'd like a million dollars in my bank account, please!"
The genie says, "You now have a million dollars in your bank account,
and your ex-husband now has two million dollars. What is your second wish?"
The woman says, "I've always wanted a nice car. I'd like a brand new
Rolls-Royce, please!"
The genie says, "You now have a new Rolls-Royce in your garage
at home, and your ex-husband now has two new Rolls-Royces.
What is your third wish?"
The woman thought for a while and then said, "I'd like you to remove one
of my kidneys, please!" -
Anonim
yo, check this out:
after Diana's death, two Irish talking:
1-hey, have you heard thas Princess Diana was on radio yesterday?
2-yep, and i heard she was on windscreen as well:P
(sorry if anyone feels offended by this joke...)
"can an Irish be proud of having a drop of English blood?"
-"yes, if this drop is on his bonnet" -
Anonim
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